I once had a light-hearted debate with a few people over the notion that it is a man’s duty to take care of the woman in a relationship. It is always interesting to listen to other people’s views about matters of life, love and everything in between. Anyways, I am all for the man being the breadwinner and head of the home. I don’t necessarily want to sponge off any guy. As things stand, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. However, the thought of a man making attempt to take care of you, being concerned about your needs, is attractive. The truth? Women and money… same Whatsapp group!
But I am aware that the act of financial chivalry, ‘go becha’ is controversial. In the modern world, where both men and women have equal economic opportunities, the common thought pattern is that men are not obliged to take care of their partners. In fact, some men often accuse women of being ‘gold diggers’. Yet, even men can be ‘gold diggers’ nowadays. There are scores of men who take care of their women and they don’t complain. It comes with the territory, just as women go on diets, fix themselves up, learn to cook etc to please men. Ironically, the very same men who don’t want to becha demand and expect sex from women, and to be treated like Kings. Motho wa teng fa kgwedi e fela e ka re ga a yo mo lefatsheng. Mid-month… o tla mo utlwa. Ke raya bale ba ba ratang di message-nyana tsa bo ‘Hi’. Enter the sex doll. If you haven’t heard about it, then you live under the rock.
This doll resembles a human being to the tee and is sold for sexual pleasure. Apparently, it is a hit overseas and is already selling like hotcakes. I kid you not! The owner enjoys exclusivity of being the first and only one to chow it. There are no ex stories or baby daddy dramas. One can even go “dry” and not stress about protection because it doesn’t fall pregnant and won’t contract STIs and other nasty conditions. It doesn’t eat food so it won’t get fat either. It also won’t talk back and there will be no nagging, insults or shouting. It would also accord those who fear expressing their sexual fantasies and fetishes with human partners the opportunity to express themselves freely. I can imagine the doll being made to bend over and even being peed on ala golden showers. Heedu! Imagine moaning and groaning in the embrace of a doll. But I doubt it comes near to the real experience. Nothing beats the human smell and touch during intimacy. Imagine slashing and writhing about with a doll in the cold of the night.
Those who saw you enter and leave the house or room, would wonder if you have a thokolosi hidden in there. And as you know… people talk a lot. The nosy ones who always have their fat sweaty noses in other people’s business would rush to exclaim: Heela, ka re o lala a kua masigo mme rona re sa bona ope a tsena ka ntlo! Oh, the things of this world! Who ever thought that it would one day be possible to buy a doll as a lover. Technology has really brought many good but also strange changes. With so many willing potential suitors and lovers milling about, nothing says ‘suck man’ than roughing it up with a doll. Mpopinyana wa teng mme o siametse bo-Ramoshe ba ba sa becheng. Khi!
Bureaucracy impedes youth empowerment – Tshekedi
Minister of Youth Empowerment, Sports and Culture Development, Tshekedi Khama said government’s bureaucracy hinders youth participation in economic development.
Speaking during the Youth Awards on Saturday, Khama explained that the society has adopted the word bureaucracy and they live with it. “This word has contradicting terms with the way the youth think, this confirms the space between the youth and how we deliver. The honour is on us to deliver an enabling environment, we talk so much, we have had discussions in pitsos,”
He pointed out that, financial institutions have difficult regulations that hinder youth to access funding for their respective businesses. “When a youth approaches a financial institution, the first question would be where is your pay slip?, secondly, what security do you have? And they will say it’s bank regulations. We live in the bureaucracies of these regulations and it has become our DNA,” said Khama.
Over the years, government has introduced programmes that promote youth entrepreneurship, which include financing, capacity building, market access and marketing an outreach. Currently, the ministry is reviewing the Youth Development Fund to improve training of beneficiaries and encourage consortia and cooperatives.
Recently, when presenting the budget for the Ministry, Khama highlighted that the youth cohort constitutes the majority of the population and this is supposed to present the country with an opportunity to harness the demographic dividend. “Their energy, educational level and technology skills should be exploited to propel our country forward,” he said.
He also indicated that the youth is faced with socio-economic challenges including unemployment, poverty, substance abuse and HIV/AIDS. “Therefore we must intervene to give them the best possible opportunities to achieve their dreams and help our country realize the ideals of vision 2036.”
Meanwhile, government disburses P120 million yearly as funding to youth enterprises and about 919 businesses have been funded in the last financial year. The youth have raised a lot of challenges in doing business, including high rentals for operating space, low market access owing to tight competition and limited production capacities.
Have a clear succession plan for peaceful transition
How have we as a people treated succession? Though in our society succession has always been determined along patriarchal lineage, traditional leadership succession has not always been smooth.
There are known stories where families broke up in a battle for succession. Immediately in my mind comes the last split of the Ba-ga-Malete in 1892. The succession was based on the bravery and not on the strength being the first born child. Throughout Botswana many merafe have a history of succession that didn’t follow the rigidity of patriarchy.
Batswana as a people believe that talk is far better than war. Ntwakgolo ke ya molomo. We are a people who would spend a whole lot of time openly discussing a matter before a decision could be reached. Discussions on any matter put before a gathering of family, clan and morafe was never finalised without thorough discussion. All present regardless of their economic strength participated fully without hindrance. Decisions thereat were reached through consensus. Traditional leaders would skilfully announce the collective decision arrived at.
The good thing about this method of allowing all to participate – Mafoko a kgotla mantle otlhe and the Mmualebe bua gore monalentle a tswe lagwe – was basically premised on the principle of what our current crop of men and women who have read big books would call “participatory democracy.” Democracy therefore has never been an imported phenomenon amongst Batswana. Democracy has always been in our DNA. Regarding succession therefore it has always been based on the consensus of the majority.
The leader though selected among the royal family, his character also played an important role in determining his suitability. As we embraced western type democracy we have in our different political homes defined our succession plans. As a nation we have defined our processes of succession. In the age and era where, unlike in our tradition, we have written these, we do not therefore rely on memories. Our forebears relied on memories and nothing was ever in black and white.
However, our forebears knew succession if not properly handled could bring strife and instability amongst morafe. We were then not part of a collective of nations and therefore what transpired in our little morafe did not necessarily impact our relations with other merafe that much. If not handled well it could create a loophole for other merafe to wage a war against the morafe .
If any such person who had been overlooked for whatever reason felt strongly about such decision, he would either remain part of the morafe as a junior leader or migrate with his supporters. Peace would prevail. Even those who had held fort for their younger siblings would want to hand over a united morafe to his successor.
In modern society, a predecessor takes pride in the performance of his choice of successor. Travelling through history one envies the succession of Kgosi Ketshwerebothata Ikaneng and Mokgosi III and that of Kgosi Mmusi and Linchwe II. Such were Batswana leaders who worked together for the better interest of the merafe they led. What now and whither peace and love for the downtrodden?
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