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The business of ‘go becha’ and the sex dol

Keletso Thobega

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I once had a light-hearted debate with a few people over the notion that it is a man’s duty to take care of the woman in a relationship. It is always interesting to listen to other people’s views about matters of life, love and everything in between. Anyways, I am all for the man being the breadwinner and head of the home. I don’t necessarily want to sponge off any guy. As things stand, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. However, the thought of a man making attempt to take care of you, being concerned about your needs, is attractive. The truth? Women and money… same Whatsapp group!

But I am aware that the act of financial chivalry, ‘go becha’ is controversial. In the modern world, where both men and women have equal economic opportunities, the common thought pattern is that men are not obliged to take care of their partners. In fact, some men often accuse women of being ‘gold diggers’. Yet, even men can be ‘gold diggers’ nowadays. There are scores of men who take care of their women and they don’t complain. It comes with the territory, just as women go on diets, fix themselves up, learn to cook etc to please men. Ironically, the very same men who don’t want to becha demand and expect sex from women, and to be treated like Kings. Motho wa teng fa kgwedi e fela e ka re ga a yo mo lefatsheng. Mid-month… o tla mo utlwa. Ke raya bale ba ba ratang di message-nyana tsa bo ‘Hi’. Enter the sex doll. If you haven’t heard about it, then you live under the rock.

This doll resembles a human being to the tee and is sold for sexual pleasure. Apparently, it is a hit overseas and is already selling like hotcakes. I kid you not! The owner enjoys exclusivity of being the first and only one to chow it. There are no ex stories or baby daddy dramas. One can even go “dry” and not stress about protection because it doesn’t fall pregnant and won’t contract STIs and other nasty conditions. It doesn’t eat food so it won’t get fat either. It also won’t talk back and there will be no nagging, insults or shouting. It would also accord those who fear expressing their sexual fantasies and fetishes with human partners the opportunity to express themselves freely. I can imagine the doll being made to bend over and even being peed on ala golden showers. Heedu! Imagine moaning and groaning in the embrace of a doll. But I doubt it comes near to the real experience. Nothing beats the human smell and touch during intimacy. Imagine slashing and writhing about with a doll in the cold of the night.

Those who saw you enter and leave the house or room, would wonder if you have a thokolosi hidden in there. And as you know… people talk a lot. The nosy ones who always have their fat sweaty noses in other people’s business would rush to exclaim: Heela, ka re o lala a kua masigo mme rona re sa bona ope a tsena ka ntlo! Oh, the things of this world! Who ever thought that it would one day be possible to buy a doll as a lover. Technology has really brought many good but also strange changes. With so many willing potential suitors and lovers milling about, nothing says ‘suck man’ than roughing it up with a doll. Mpopinyana wa teng mme o siametse bo-Ramoshe ba ba sa becheng. Khi!

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Ag, shame Kgathi!

Ernest Moloi

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How the mighty have fallen! This past weekend’s Botswana Democratic Party’s Bulela Ditswe primary elections were a demonstration of democracy in action. We need to get accustomed to the painful truth that in life you win some, you lose some!

But somehow, we have built a culture that of anti-change, we equate change with collapse, destruction or maybe it’s because we fear the unknown. Like our good MELS president would say, you move from the known to the unknown, but somehow that statement rings hollow for him considering the length of time he’s been MELS’ president!
Domkrag has been in power for over 50 uninterrupted years. By now it should have built a critical mass, a pool of leaders from which to select in the wards, cells, branches and regions. Democracy is a work in progress, being perfected every time.

Like our late former Vice President the General, Mompati Merafhe would say, “No one has a monopoly of knowledge.” The BDP must take heed of this counsel if it is to survive post Bulela Ditswe. The Old Guard must remember, and take the cue from people like the Mother of the House, Mma Venson-Moitoi, who has served this country diligently but is wise to know when it is time to hand the baton to others in this relay called politics.

In the same vein, the Young Turks, in their brash and radical ways must learn that there’s absolutely nothing new under the sun! They must learn to bide their time and do their bit when their turn comes. They should never think they are reinventing the wheel. Like we’ve said, democracy, like any other political system, is a work in progress.
But the vainglorious and big-headed don’t see this. They are self-centred, conceited and arrogant. They despise the mass of their people. They neglect their constituencies, only visiting them when elections are due and thereafter go on with their lives without a care in the world!

Worse still, their political parties also influence this attitude in that in some instances candidates are selected in Gaborone and dispatched to go and represent their respective native villages. This is not good enough and can never be a solution. We need home-bred leaders, we cannot be importing leaders from Gaborone! My best wishes go to all the runners-up in the past weekend’s primary elections. These men and women showed character. Certainly I feel very sorry for Shaw Kgathi because he was de-campaigned by BaNgwato Kgosi, Ian Khama. I am afraid this is a clear indication that BaNgwato hegemony in some parts of Central District remains entrenched even in the 21st Century.

But, the victor must tread carefully. I think it’s too early to raise Champagne glasses! A fractured BDP may become easy picking for Botswana Congress Party in 2019 in this constituency especially if UDC comes to the party! My sympathies also go to Biggie Butale and Tirelo ‘Scania’ Mukokomani in Tati West who I understand were floored by a Young Turk, the president of the BDP Youth Wing, Simon Mavange! I think both gentlemen can still be useful in other enterprises outside politics!

There was also my good friend Itumeleng Moipisi in Kgalagadi North losing to transport magnate, Talita Monnakgotla. I am not sure why Talita would want to go into politics, all I know is that she’s a savvy businesswoman, but as for Moipisi, I think we have lost a wise man in government. I won’t say anything about Nonofho Molefi. We all know the mastermind behind his demise. He dug the pit that would swallow him up the day he dared to challenge then Vice President, now President Mokgweetsi Masisi for the chairmanship of the ruling party.

When all is said and done, I am very happy with the outcome. I know some are worried that too many loyalists of former president Ian Khama have won and that this could somehow resuscitate his hopes of gaining influence in his father’s party and ultimately government if BDP wins in 2019.As for me, I say the sun has set on Khama’s political career. He must just continue with his charitable and altruistic cause. It fits him perfectly especially that he’s also a Kgosi. He must steer clear of dirty politics and do all within his power to dignify the seat of tribal power!

After all is he not the one that taught us this dictum? BaKgatla will be celebrating KgosiKgolo Kgafela’s 10th Anniversary this September in Moruleng and I suppose in Mochudi. It would be an honour to have Kgosi Khama grace this occasion; after all he is the one that installed Kgafela back in 2008 and draped him in a leopard’s skin!

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Of today’s men sharing beer with women and children

Matshediso Fologang

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The world in which I grew up is no more. This weekend I met with my boys – most of whom are now senior citizens – at the usual Motswere tree. I am not known to imbibe in alcoholic beverages of any kind, but every time I find myself with these boys, each will have brought himself a bottle.

Where we are all very broke, we contribute towards the drinks using the motshelo model. We make contributions to be used to purchase a few litres of traditional beer commonly known as maswe a dinala in Ramotswa, or mukuru as in Serowe. These meetings with the boys have become regular and because I am always there, a lot of people who are not my close friends have always wrongly assumed I also take the stuff.

As we have always done without fail, we were at the Motswere tree again recently. The mood this time was triggered by an activity at Tashy’s Gardens near Boatle. The Speaker of the National Assembly was host to the CPA Africa Region Conference in Gaborone. As part of the activities they were treated for a culture day at the gardens. Our culture has this thing of bringing us together through music and dance. Also in our tradition, there is always a lot of eating. Actually we like our Basotho cousins who believe that “mokete yo o senang nama ga se mokete,” literally meaning that a feast without meat is no feast at all.

Eating at this CPA outing was in typical African fashion. The diverse nature of our society through food, music and dance was on display to the excitement of the guests. Groups from across the length and breadth of this wonderful country were there to display their talents and styles. Truly the CPA Africa Region delegates went back mesmerized. This is however what was in our minds this weekend at Motswere tree. It was just a coincidence that we the boys from that area were part of the traditional groups specifically asked to entertain the guests. In our group we always have to end the day with lots of bojalwa, which was in oversupply on the day.

On the day, quite interestingly, my guys waived a lot of ‘protocol observed’ in the consumption of the holy fawn stuff. In the days of our growing up, young maidens could not sit amongst men to freely drink. We have as a group agreed that we should accommodate modern things. Some young ladies joined us and asked that we fill their bottles with the bojalwa. It was just wonderful that there was no single objection to this. Women and mostly from our neighbours South Africa, wanted to taste the local traditional beer. The stuff was frothing which is always considered good. All and sundry praised the stuff as the best.

As the day ended, we the Motswere boys asked for an extra provision of 60 litres of the bojalwa. We then ferried it to our secluded Motswere place, where we would later spend the evening freely singing our traditional festive music. Despite having allowed women earlier to freely drink during the day at our fort, we resorted to our practice of not sharing bojalwa with children and women. It will take us long to understand gender neutrality at Motswere tree.

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