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Dipping in the honey pot

Keletso Thobega

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A certain gentleman once told me an amusing anecdote of what spurred him to stop his philandering ways. It was not a bad case of a sexually transmitted infection or a lovely woman who swept him off his feet. This chap was an educated medical specialist stationed in a rural village in Botswana where he believed he could effect positive change. His weakness was that he had an unquenchable appetite for female flesh and could never resist feminine wiles.

He took to a habit of pounding women regardless of whether they were married or not. He especially loved the married ones because they cleaned up well and did not ask for much. He had a field day being a ‘self-appointed gynaecologist’ to these ladies, right under the nose of their helpless men. However, one day he was bitten by a snake on his way from “servicing” somebody’s wife. He took it as a bad omen and stopped his skirt chasing ways. He settled with a cool KYS lady and forgot about his previous hobby of exploring the female anatomy. No man has truly lived who has not been involved in a tiff over a woman – whether their partner has been poached or they did the poaching.

One of the aims of the much-proposed social values council is to try and rectify such social malice. Sometimes an affair appears as simple as responding to your desires but so much could go wrong: passion killings, murders, battery, HIV/AIDS infection, the list goes on and on. Traditional kgotlas are inundated with cases of infidelity but the bottom line is poor morality, selfishness and arrogance. When you lack principle and integrity, you feel entitled to do whatever you want with no consequence. I recently found myself in the middle of a similar situation. Sorry to burst your bubble but I didn’t help myself to anyone’s spouse. What happened is that one silly chap from my neighbourhood was angrily pursued by a man whose honey pot he had been dipping into. The fuming man wanted to behead him.

I had to lie on behalf of the chap because I am a sweet person and did not want to be a witness in a bloody murder case. I often wonder, what is wrong with sleeping with one person? People willingly start affairs with people’s husbands, wives and lovers. Some people don’t respect relationships and just the mere fact that someone can start an affair and not even feel embarrassed and guilty about the whole thing speaks volumes about their sense of morality, principles and values. Some people have an ‘I don’t care’ complex and strangely, seem to enjoy dangerous thrills that include romps with other people’s spouses.

But the consequences can be far fetching. We have all heard of the sordid stories of infidelity and how people “fixed” the buffoons who dipped into their jars. But it can take a humorous twist. Apparently one man once got caught dipping in another man’s honey pot. He escaped and drove to his house where he found his mother-in-law in the living room. He collapsed on a chair beside her and told the shocked old woman that he had been attacked by thieves who indecently stripped him and took his expensive clothes. Apparently the old woman looked him right in the eye and cheekily retorted: ‘What cruel criminals… they take everything and leave only the condom on.’ Ha! It turns out that the slimy bugger had been in such a rush to escape that he had forgotten to remove the rubber that hung on to his now flaccid you-know-what.

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