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‘Bogadi is not Setswana culture’ – KgosiKwena Sebele

Yvonne Mooka

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Bogadi or bride’s price is not part of the Setswana culture according to former Bakwena regent also former president of the Customary Court of Appeal KgosiKwena Sebele. Reacting to The Midweek Sun article BOGADI MUST FALL, that appeared on the September 26, 2018 edition, Kgosi Sebele told this publication in a telephone call:

“I always tell people that Bogadi does not feature anywhere in our culture. You guys should stop consulting wrong people about this issue. Look at how people don’t marry these days over Bogadi which has got nothing to do with us!” he said, and invited The Midweek Sun for an interview on the matter. When The Midweek Sun team visited him at his homestead in Molepolole, the traditionalist was very straight-forward. “I want someone to come forward and challenge me after reading what I’m about to tell you now. People have been ripped off, it’s enough. Bogadi ga se Setswana,” said the free-spirit.

The 73-year-old man says that growing up, he made use of his forefathers and parents and learnt Setswana history from them. He states that Kgosi KgariSechele I should be blamed for the introduction of Bogadi. “He had many wives, possibly more than five and concubines, something that did not sit well with missionaries around 1885. They told him it was a taboo and that as a Christian convert, he had to abandon all the women and remain with only one. Other believers followed suit and renounced polygamy,” he says.

He adds that according to the Setswana culture, when a young man shows signs of puberty and an interest in a young woman, arrangements are made for the two to be kept inside a hut where they are supposed to have sex and it is done to check whether they will conceive. He calls this the “Fencing period” or Engagement in the modern English. He says that if during that fencing period, the couple manages to have a child, when the elder goes to ask for “Sego”, or for the girl’s hand in marriage, her family would be thanked with a cow.

The tribal leader says that the number of cows is determined by the number of children. “The charging of eight cows and whatever is happening is not our culture but selfishness. “In our culture, men go first to ask for the girl’s hand in marriage and then women saying baya go kopa metsi. From there, the family would say to us, ‘ke ao a nweng mme lo re gadimeng kantata ya gore go na le ngwana kana bana.’ From there, they come with the cow or cows based on the number of children. Then the couple is married. What is lawful, he says, is Patlo ya banna le basadi.

His take is that Batswana have lost their culture. “That’s why there are two contracts. People do both the Common Law and Customary Law marriages, which is total confusion. It’s like getting married twice. “Choose the one you want, and decide as a couple not external influence. Weddings are done to show off. Couples are in debts because of demands like Bogadi. Girls will remain single for a long time,” he warns, adding that Bogadi has even turned into business.

Citing a case he once handled, he says a woman from Ramotswa once said she was divorcing her husband because he wanted too much sex from her. “The man in turn said he wanted his cows back because monna yo o nkgang o nkga le ditsagagwe, and I endorsed his request,” he says. His advice is that Batswana should go back to the crossroads. “Molao sekhutlo, morwa mmoelwa yo o sa boelweng ke maleng,” he says.

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Kanye born actress on SA’s ‘The throne’

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Kanye born star, Koketso Mophuting managed to grow her acting career to greater heights after securing a role in Isibaya and is now an actress on South Africa’s weekly drama, The Throne.

The Throne is a television drama centred on the Kwena royal family, which portrays a vicious power struggle on which every family member desperately tries to serve their own interest. The drama airs from Monday to Thursday on DSTV channel 161. Her acting career began a long time ago, through her taking part in the local drama ‘Thokolosi’ in which she played Katlego.

In an interview with The Midweek Sun, passionate Mophuting said that it is never easy to wave Botswana’s flag high in the congested South African entertainment industry, but that will not deter her from achieving her dreams.

“Nothing good ever comes without hard work, I encourage local artists to work hard enough to build their own legacies,” she said.The 29-year old actress took part in a short film that was produced under her newly formed production company but has not been screened yet.

Mophuting also played ‘Gugu’ on Single Mothers and she had appeared on a television production called The Bantu Hour.Mophuting will be seen playing the role of Sethunya, a character in which she uses her beauty and charm to acquire better things for herself. “It is an exciting year to grow my brand and mostly my acting career,” she said. The Throne is a production by Ferguson Films owned by Connie and Shona Ferguson.

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BATSWANA BAD AT SEX

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For a long time, majority of Batswana have been shying away from holding conversations about sex and according to local author, Kagiso Bareki, many relationships and marriages do not last because of poor sex life.

Speaking during Gamaila Authors Empowerment Session and Exhibition, Bareki hinted that bad sex has destroyed majority of marriages and love affairs, hence he saw the need to write his book dubbed ‘Sex and Intimacy,’ which mainly teaches people how to have sex.

He has written 16 books, mainly Christian books and some novels. He encourages authors to keep writing books and confidently shares that writing books has destroyed his ability to work for someone else, as it is a career on its own.

Bareki said he wrote his most talked about book ‘Sex and Intimacy’ after he realised that majority of Batswana are bad at having sex, both men and women. “We have never been taught how to have sex, we have been taught how to communicate and how to budget but not how to have sex. The book I wrote capitalises on ‘how to,’ that couples need to properly do the foreplay, massages and know how to kiss during sex,” he said.

Asked whether there is a specific gender that needs to be taught how to have sex Bareki said that all genders are affected.“Re na le mathata. This sex issue is wrecking marriages and love affairs. Sex is a topic that we often avoid because some are just ashamed to speak about it openly, yet it is important,” he added.

Bareki has challenged married couples to create a proper environment for sex, further stating that there are things specifically designed for sex, such as enhancements, food and sex furniture that accommodate many sexual positions. “There are foods to eat during sex, yet many couples do not eat during sex,” said Bareki. He also said the book includes rules of sexual enjoyment, vaginal dryness and many other interesting topics.

He shared with authors that he promotes his books through the internet and that he has already sold 10 000 copies. Other authors who graced the event were Koziba Sebina, who is a professional speaker and international success coach, Belinda Lekone who spoke about her book, ‘Against all Odds’ and Member of Parliament for Kanye South Abram Kesupile.

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