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Depression survivor tells the story

Yvonne Mooka

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HAPPIER TIMES: Keneo lost her husband only eight months after marriage

One moment, Keneo Bonang’s husband was dropping their daughter at school in the morning, and the next moment he was reported dead, killed by petty thieves for his mobile phone and wallet.

On that fateful Thursday in 2014, Bonang 31 says she received a call from her man around 6pm telling her that he had run out of petrol near Grand Palm hotel in Mogoditshane. She would ask if he needed her to bring him some, and he told her he would ask colleagues.

Then he became impatient, she says, and walked to a nearby fuel station. It was then that two young men attacked him, and stabbed him. In an interview with The Midweek Sun, Bonang however says she did not find out immediately that her husband had been murdered.

“I called and called him but he didn’t answer the phone. Around 2am, she’d call her sister as she was now getting worried. It was only when I arrived at my sister’s house that our other sister called us with a suspicious tone, asking where Kabo, my husband, then 36, was.

Upon driving to her house, a security guard told us people had gathered in the house and that, “it looks like someone is dead,” she said, and that is when she received the sad news. Bonang says that losing her husband only eight months after their wedding took a toll on her.

They were still in a honeymoon phase, and again, she found out a day after his funeral that she was pregnant with their second child. “I didn’t know that ‘till death do us part’ would mean eight months. I became a widow instantly,” she says.

Her church, Seventh Day Adventist immediately started counselling her the day she lost her husband, something she is thankful for. Her take is that widows need counselling as soon as the news of their husbands’ death breaks.

She says that the most difficult processes are identifying the deceased at the mortuary, arrival of the body at home (Kgoroso), being told to sleep next to the coffin and when the coffin goes down the grave. “Especially if the death was tragic, you can lose your mind because of trauma. You need to be counselled early,” she says. I became a tragic widow’

Bonang was on a teaching contract and it had come to an end a month before her husband’s death. She says that between 2014 and 2017 January, she sunk into deep depression. She moved back to her mother’s house in Maun. “I was incredibly overwhelmed, shocked, traumatised and deeply saddened.

All of the emotional stress and pain resulted in physical ailment and pain.I had pain everywhere – legs, feet, ears, arms, and this excruciating pain wouldn’t stop. I had body tremors,” she says, adding that the neurologist had thought she had Multiple Sclerosis, an incurable condition which presented the aforementioned symptoms.

She says that her BOMAID medical fund was depleted in a space of seven months, and she had to use her cash or go to Princess Marina hospital. After the baby arrived, she was diagnosed with Psycho-somatic disorder, which involves both mind and body.

It is thought to be particularly vulnerable to mental factors such as stress and anxiety. She would then start counselling with a psychologist whom she says was very good. She also shares that at one point she tried a life of clubbing and drinking to escape the grief. ‘I beat depression’

After moving from the house she shared with her husband in 2015, Bonang says she decided this year in January to move back in and to start afresh with her two children.
She says that this Tuesday morning her young daughter came to her asking where her father was and wanted to confirm if he was dead as her older sister had told her.

“I had to take the bull by the horn. It has happened and I have accepted that I have lost my husband. He was a sweet, loving and kind man and we loved each other deeply. But I have to face it and can’t grieve forever,” she says.

She advises young married women to ensure they are financially sound and to invest so that life does not end when their husbands pass. Other than being an administrator at Bokamoso Private Hospital, Bonang also runs a pre-school in Maun.

But is she dating? She laughs it off, saying that she is safeguarding her children and that if she finds someone, she will only introduce him to her children after he has paid Bogadi (marriage price) for her. Meanwhile, her husband’s killers are still at large.

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PETTY MINISTER

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AT LOGGERHEADS: Minister Thapelo Olopeng and SRC President Tumelo Legase on a collision course

The University of Botswana Student Representative Council is disappointed by Minister Thapelo Olopeng’s remarks quoted in the media, and his failures to address issues faced by students. The Tertiarty Research Science and Technology Minister told reporters that the students are pulling political stunts.

This was after they were arrested for locking Department of Tertiary Education Funding (DTEF) employees in office some three weeks back as demand for student attachment allowance grows much greater than before. However, SRC vice president Tumelo Legase dismissed the minister’s remarks during a press briefing on Monday morning at the University.

“It’s disappointing to see the minister being petty instead of addressing pertinent issues that students face. It has been three months and students have not received their allowance, that’s the issue he should address,” he lashed out. The SRC’s endless scuffles with DTEF seem far from over. Legase said that DTEF has been inconsistent with crediting student allowances for the longest of times and they always have to ensure that they do their job. “We have proposed an advanced student allowance management system but they are still failing to take up such ideas.”

Following various engagements with the DTEF and UB Management that have failed to bear fruits, the SRC resolved to petition the DTEF Director and University of Botswana Student Welfare Director. According to Minister of Justice Carter Joseph the University Management has even failed to provide them with transportation to DTEF offices. “We are doing voluntary work for the students and management can’t even fulfil their duty of providing us with transportation,” he stressed.

For his part, UB SRC President Amogelang Mokwena said they are left with no option but to petition DTEF Director and UB Student Welfare Director. He said they will call a mass demonstration and petition these “two who are failing to do their job come August.” “We don’t encourage incompetency that’s why we want them to leave office so that someone befitting and capable goes into office, we will mobilise together with other SRCs across the country and we will get enough numbers to over throw them.”

The SRC has also expressed apprehension at the absence of University of Botswana Vice Chancellor Professor David Norris who is always available to give them an ear and extend a helping hand.
“We have a solid relationship with Professor Norris. It’s sad that he is outside the country and cannot be of any assistance.

“In his absence we have no one to run to. I can say we have no relationship with the Director of Student Welfare,” Mokwena lamented.

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LIES AND DECEIT

Dikarabo Ramadubu

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On the surface it looks like a storm in a teacup but it is a brewing tornado which threatens to rent asunder the harmony subsisting between tribal leadership and politics.

And at the heart of it all seems to lie bits of dishonesty, lies and deceit. It all started with a luncheon meeting hosted at Maharaj Conference Centre for nine (9) Bangwaketse Dikgosana, supposedly called by Kgosikgolo Malope II. On the way to this luncheon from Kanye, the Ngawaketse capital, new information turned by one of the trip organisers revealed that the meeting was just a political gimmick by the Botswana Patriot Front (BPF) and its patron former president and Bangwato Kgosikgolo, Ian Khama.

Happening two weeks before the launch of the BPF in Kanye, the luncheon was a masterstroke by the party’s strategists to secure legitimacy amongst the tribe’s leadership as well as the much-needed numbers for the party’s launch and elective congress. But now some of the Dikgosana say they were tricked into participating in a partisan meeting whose motive they were never privy to.

BPF-Gangwaketse Association
The alleged association of Gangwaketse with BPF reportedly started with Khama’s visits to Kanye in search of a suitable venue for his party’s historic inaugural elective congress. This is where, according to emerging reports, officials of the BPF struck an association with one of the tribesmen who would later be used, amidst promises of money, to mobilise the other tribal leaders for the Maharaj meeting.

Last week Thursday, Bangwaketse Kgosi Malope II summoned all these Dikgosana to explain their actions. These Dikgosana are Gaonakgang Gaonakgang (Mmangwato ward); Thomson Ntsima (Tsima ward); Gaokgakala Monnathebe (Goo-Logaba); Frank Boakgomo (Boakgomo ward); Lewatle Kgosiyareng (Mongala ward); J. Ramoshane (Lotlhakane East); Kepatilwe Mafoko (Tlagae ward); Gaofenngwe Bome (Bome ward) and the Kgosana of Moshana village.

The meeting was attended by District Commissioner of Southern District Mmoloki Edward Raletobane as well as tribal administrators.Of these tribal leaders, it is Bome who reportedly met and agreed on the Maharaj meeting with the BPF patron. Both men are believed to have been contacting each other for some time and it appears they even spoke about how Khama could involve all Dikgosana in his grand political plan.

Following conclusion of the master plan, where two more tribal elders were brought into the plan, Bome is said to have then called all the other Dikgosana to inform them that Malope II – who at the time was in Gaborone attending Ntlo ya Dikgosi session – has invited them for lunch in Gaborone and would send a bus to collect them.

It was when the men were about to touch down in Gabs that Bome allegedly changed tune saying that they were in fact going to be meeting with Khama, not Malope. This allegedly brought worry and division among the Dikgosana but they nevertheless went ahead to Maharaja where they were met and welcomed by BPF interim President Biggie Butale. One of the dikgosana reveals that Butale would then request them to have patience because “Morena o etla” (The king will be coming), referring to Khama

And then Khama arrived
The common narrative from the elders is that upon arrival, Khama gave them the impression that he did not know anything about the purpose of the meeting, but that he had nonetheless come because he had been informed that they wanted to meet with him. Upon asking them why they had wanted to meet with him, it was Bome who curiously jumped to the opportunity to be the first to speak.

Some in the group reveal they were shocked when Bome told Khama that they had come to seek his assistance against President Mokgweetsi Masisi whom they alleged was making them lead miserable lives. Bome allegedly stressed that since Khama left the presidency, they suffered under Masisi who was forcing them to pledge allegiance to him. Khama was further told by some of the tribal elders that they were not comfortable with the oppression and sought his advice on how they could petition Masisi to Queen Elizabeth.

It is said that Khama advised them to rather take their petition to the British High Commission in Gaborone. One of the Dikgosana, Kepatilwe Mafoko, is said to have chipped in to add that Government was refusing to promote him even though he had served the morafe for long a long time. Records however show that the same Mafoko had long been brought to the Kgotla years back, just to help with a few things, and that he has remained there since. The other Kgosana who spoke was Lewatle Kgosiyareng, a former political activist for both ruling BDP and opposition BNF but has since quit politics. In his response, Khama is said to have told them that he too is suffering under president Masisi (Le nna Masisi o a ntshwenya) even as he is the one to have chosen him to succeed him when he retired.

Khama allegedly then told the Dikgosana that he too would love it if they give him support in removing Masisi through the ballot in October. “I therefore request you all to mobilise people to come in numbers for the BPF launch,” he allegedly said. In his address to Dikgosana, Khama allegedly told them that he was currently talking to other Dikgosi throughout the country seeking their support for this cause. Some of the elders reveal that after deliberations of the day, two of their colleagues would later have a private meeting with Khama. The Midweek Sun has established that the two were Bome and Mafoko. There is suspicion that the two received some monetary incentives as what would transpire later in the village gave rise to those suspicions. A source close to the village’s development committee – VDC – revealed that one of the two would later that day arrive pay back the P3000-00 debt he had had for some time.

Reports say Bome and Mafoko, from their side meeting, arrived to tell the others that they had been promised that transport would be organised and each of them would be paid P6000 to mobilise Bangwaketse for the BPF launch and efforts to remove Masisi. As it turned out, not all Dikgosana could hold the secret for long, and soon the secret meeting reached the ears of Kgosi Malope and a meeting was called for Wednesday, where the concerned Dikgosana were advised to stay away from politics. Malope and his administrators would then call another meeting with Dikgosana on Thursday and asked them to explain their actions to other village elders. This is where some of the issues were revealed. It is at the same meeting that Bome allegedly confessed and exonerated Malope, saying he never gave them permission to attend a meeting with Khama.

Instead, he confessed that before the Maharaj meeting, he had gone to Malope to tell him Khama had invited him for lunch, to which Malope only said he didn’t find anything wrong with him dining with Khama if they are friends.

Word was already spreading in the village that Ngwaketse royals had been given huge sums of money to mobilise morafe for the Saturday launch of BPF. But after this clarification by Bome on Thursday, Malope then called a Kgotla meeting on Friday in order to clear the air for the villagers. The meeting was addressed by deputy Chief, Kebapetswe Telekelo.
Efforts by this publication to speak to Khama proved futile, but The Monitor quoted him this week denying that he ever sought to meet with the Dikgosana. “They are the ones who had asked to see me on that day, but unfortunately I was not available in the morning and they had to come for lunch,”Khama is quoted to have said, adding that the Ngwaketse royals then complained that Masisi was forcing them to support him.

What Bome told The Midweek Sun
Kgosi Bome also denied most of the allegations against him but confirmed that they indeed travelled to have lunch with Khama and were provided with transport although he says he does not know whose vehicle it was.

“It is true we travelled to Gaborone at the invitation of former president Khama who invited us for lunch. We accepted the invitation as we did not see anything wrong with it,” Bome said.
“But we have since apologised to Kgosikgolo Malope for having attended lunch without having followed proper channels, so questions on this matter are not necessary.” But then again, Bome denies ever organising transport or calling other Dikgosana to attend the lunch meeting with Khama. Yet his colleagues contend he did. “I did not organise the transport for Dikgosana as they claim. Our transport came with Kgosi Lewatle Kgosiyareng.

He told us that they were coming from Letlhakane where there was a donation for a wheelchair.” Bome said it should be noted that this is election time and people are bound to lie about others. “There is nothing more I can say. We called Bangwaketse to clarify our position on Friday. I also confirm that I have heard stories that Khama offered us money. The Morafe continues to ask me about this and some close to me tease me for a share,” he told this publication. And then he added: “The fact is we never talked politics with Khama – even the law is very clear that we have to remain apolitical as our major role is arbitration and uniting the tribe.

Instead he only told us he is retired and only wanted to spend time with us as he has done with other Dikgosi.” District Commissioner – Southern, Mmoloki Raletobane confirmed being aware of the matter. “I was informed by the tribal administration and know everything by virtue of my position. We allowed the chieftainship to resolve the issue in the best way possible,” he said. The contradicting versions on what really transpired have not been helped much by the refusal of other Dikgosana to speak to this publication. Kgosi Malope II could neither be drawn into discussing the matter as he said the matter had been successfully resolved.

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