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Eating “stoko” in the name of Jesus

Keletso Thobega

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We have all heard wild stories of pastors who are apparently “chowing” female congregants like cows enjoying cud. These supposed pastors, some who are married, are practising adultery, infidelity and promiscuity in the name of the Lord.

How do you stand in front of people and preach the word of God when you yourself are tainted? But it turns out that some of us have been in the dark. All this stuff about fornication and sexual molestation conducted by “men of God” is not news. Apparently these “men of God” have been having extra marital and illicit affairs in the house of the Lord for quite a while. We have heard about some priests scandals relating to rape, homosexual acts and other forms of violation. Some of these relations are allegedly even consensual. They are enjoying the forbidden fruit with careless abandon.

I now understand why so many young men are tripping over themselves to be pastors. Kana macheri a mangwe fa ba ka re ‘a God fearing man’ ga o ka ke wa ba re sepe. Ba ba tshwarela gone hoo!
I also always thought that some of these young women who go to church dressed to the nines in sometimes provocative outfits are just moving with the times but I understand that some are there to hunt for men. Others even flirt with and throw themselves at pastors and other men of God. It can be tempting when a woman is begging to be had. It is like a piece of marinated and braaied chicken being placed before you. How can you say ‘no’? My dear reader, the crotch has no conscience.

Temptation of the flesh is truly man’s biggest downfall. There are women who throw themselves at men who they believe are powerful, rich or handsome. Gatwe ba dira ‘tsaa o utlwe.’ Sadly, some of these women seemingly use the wrong methods to get what they want and when things don’t go their way, they then cry foul. With this in mind, it is hardly surprising that some men are uncomfortable with their girlfriends or wives spending too much time at church or with pastors. The suspicions and insecurities are well placed. There are men out there who have broken up happy homes under the pretext of “helping” women in the congregation, promising them all sorts of enticing spiritual and material rewards. And who can trust a woman who seemingly loves a man of God more than her husband? She abandons domestic duties and servicing conjugal rights to go and shout: “Go deeper man of God!”

I recall a few years ago, a particular pastor from one of these fly by night churches sent word out that he wanted to meet me. I have a church I was raised in where I was baptised and confirmed, which I remain loyal to. If I have problems, I will take them to my priests there.

I just did not understand what this pastor wanted. Gape batho ba e ka re dingaka tsa Setswana, ba ka go okeletsa stress ka dikgang tse di deep. I admit that I might have read too much into it. After all, it is not every pastor who is deceitful and corrupt; there are many good pastors out there. But I have heard enough stories about women who are molested by or coerced into sexual relations with pastors. Gatwe man of God o tla bo a baa letsogo mo tlhogong a go rapella, le lengwe letsogo a le bintsha bintsha mo seropeng. Tlhe bathun’ kgalemelang bo Daddy ba ba corrupt ba tla hetsa bana. Itjakg!

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Ladies, go ahead and spoil your kings

Yvonne Mooka

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FEBRUARY is the month of love and the hopeless romantics must be looking forward to nothing but love, romance and a little chocolate indulgence and all the good things.

On Valentine’s Day, observed on February 14 each year, lovers spoil each other and express just how much they love and appreciate their better half. Often times, as women we are the ones that get pampered. It’s as if the day belongs to us. Let me challenge my sisters to put their men first this Valentine’s. There is so much pressure on our men to make us happy. Why not spoil him this year? I will assist you with a few ideas.

Simplicity goes a long way with men. Women like diamonds, and sparkles, but men like kindness and thoughtfulness. When out with your friends and his coke and cup come, open it up for him and pour his drink, put some napkins next to him, add the sugar to his tea. The man’s sole job is to take care of you in life, why not take care of them in whatever way you can?  The most important thing a woman can be to a man, is that bright ray of sunshine in his life. After a long’s day work, men want to come home, or meet someone smiling with a positive attitude to lift his spirits.

He most definitely doesn’t want to meet a nag. Spoil your man and make him feel adored and be the smile in his life. The moment he sees you he puts that work worry behind him for a few hours and focuses on you. That way both of you gain out of the relationship, as opposed to coming home to a heated argument and sleeping mad at each other. You will just wake up more frustrated and the awful cycle will begin.

Men love soccer, basketball, or whatever sport seems to be trending nowadays. A super easy way to spoil your man is to pay attention to his favourite player and team, because that way you can personalise something meaningful to him. Opt for his favorite player’s jersey, instead of a perfume or a regular shirt, and print his name and lucky number on it. Just like we like jewellery, they like jerseys. When two people meet, there is a period in which he meets your friends, you meet his friends and the little acquaintances begin.

Why don’t you exert the extra effort and spoil your man by building a relationship with his close friends? Before you came along, these people were very important to him, and if they are important to him, they should be extremely important to you. Men love to see that their women care and appreciate. If he is picking on weight, go to the gym together. Be his motivation. Use words of affirmation to show him you’re his girl. Speak about progress and results.

Tell him you are thankful for the way he executes his fatherly duties, his providing for you, his efforts to make you happy and assure him of your support. Be his number one cheerleader.
Facebook/Instagram: Yvonne Tshepang Mooka
Email: yvonnequeen2003@gmail.com

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It’s a shame: Death has been commercialised

Matshediso Fologang

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This past weekend there were five funerals in the village part that I live.

Men, women and youth thronged the homesteads and the graveyard where funeral rites were conducted. As I sat amongst men old and young, I could not help but recall the phobia that I had of death and all the funeral rites that followed. Through the ceremonies I watched the mannerisms and the accompanying conduct of everybody around. I recalled how revered these ceremonies were in my youthful days. The adult men sitting near me expressed concern over the current generation’s funerals and associated rituals.

In the days when I was brought up certain things that are done were unheard of. The way people behaved was far different from that of the current generation. In the early days death (loso) was observed and conducted with much order and respect. The rituals associated with the burial ceremony were conducted with awe. These days things have changed. This time it would be unfair to blame the young people for the change in our practices. When I grew up then there were no mortuaries and funerals were done immediately. The ceremony was simple and conducted with less costs. Those of the family who were outside the village would always find the funeral done and completed.

In the current era funerals have to be carried out after all the relatives and the entire extended have been informed. As they wait for the arrival of far-off relatives, there is a feeding and catering to the entire village. This is an extra burden on the family. In the days past, whatever catering and food preparations if any, were minimal and cheap. Whatever was prepared for the people was given to the deceased family. The whole village shared the processes leading to the burial.

Death was a communal activity. This time things have changed. The funeral preparations and associated ceremonies have become very costly. The costs associated with death are far exhorbitant than those incurred by our parents. As families wait for a week or so before the actual burial it means they alone have to bear the burden. What has changed is the expense relating to the coffins and the use of marquees.

The families have begun a culture of hiring all the other things that were not known as I grew up. Death has been commercialized. As the families want to do what the “Jones” do next door, people have been lured by insurance companies and mortuary operators to join schemes that will provide for all the necessities for a well-funded funeral. This has the tendency to stretch people’s budgets. There are no longer simple funeral ceremonies.

What is even worse is that these modern funerals have also in a way become fashion shows. People come to the funerals dressed to kill and therefore unlike in the past many come there to show off their “labels” and the latest gadgets. The attendant burial activities at the graveyard are now a thing for the less privileged. The fashion mongers just look on from a distance while their heads are dipped into their phones. Yet these guys are the first to disregard protocol at feeding points once the burial has been concluded. Shame on us!

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