Dear Comrade Duma
Your Comradeship, I write to you with a deep sense of discomfort regarding the latest tidings emerging from the Gammangwato capital – more specifically that circus event aptly staged at the Showgrounds of Goo Konyana ward in Serowe.
I am aware that apart from your congested schedule of star rallies to plan and to attend, you also have taxing engagements that should eventually see you reunite with your two beautiful flying machines grounded recently by some jealous mongers.
But I ask that you give me audience for just these 5 minutes before you can resume with your tight schedule. You see Comrade, I grew up admiring everything that you are – your contagious eloquence; your unique dress sense; your caustic wit; your orgasmic looks… and every other compelling trait about the enigma that you are.
The only thing I ever disliked about you Comrade was your penchant for exposing my comprehension deficiencies whenever you addressed meetings and you communicated in this bookish language I often found confoundedly obscure, tortuous, loquacious and aggravatingly verbose.
Oops, pardon me if I begin to sound like you Comrade – this train of diterme is not my style. I am one to communicate in very simple and easily understandable language.
The thing is, I sometimes left that Mmadikolo’s Student Union Hall having grasped very little of what you, my SRC president of the time, would have said to us in those student body meetings.
It never made sense to me why you spoke like that, using a string of intimidating words that always left us all bewildered and bemused. But I have to say, you are still a great man and my admiration of you actually grew stronger when you successfully managed to trudge through that rubble of the BNF shenanigans strewn across the political plains to frustrate you out of the party.
More admiration followed when you further showed astute leadership through the turmoil that despite all else, eventually gave birth to The People’s Project – the UDC. What a dream you, Motswaledi, Ndaba and significant others had for the nation then!
I actually miss that euphoria you and Ndaba occasioned in 2014, giving us all hope that the treacherous Kgosikgolo’s regime as you labelled it at the time, would be a thing of the past.
It’s a pity Dumelang and his lime loyalists betrayed the struggle then, allowing the loathed Kgamaniacs to continue to this day. Looking back to that wasted opportunity with a sense of regret and anger towards the lime troops, I sit here wondering what would have become of this country over the last five years.
Kana right now I would surely be addressing you as His Excellency President Duma Gideon Boko, chanting the Ha e duma ea dumalana slogan and also singing along the Indaba yami I’striaght jingle.
Dums o kile a re bolaa Comrade, but I am glad he has finally come back to his senses and has joined hands in the struggle. My only worry now is that while you did well to coax Dums back under the umbrella, you have since spat Ndaba out of the attendant shade of hope.
I have said it before Comrade that in dumping Ndaba you have made a huge blunder, for here was a guy who together with his lieutenants complemented your every political being so well you were assured of a stint at the State House this time around, especially with Dums also back in the fray.
Obviously Dumelang brings with him the numerical strength that should surely bolster your chances of waltzing towards the First Residence, but this would have been even more potent had the People’s Project remained intact in the form that it was in 2014.
Truth be told, this Dumelang chap and his loyalists remain your undeniable trump card towards the fruition of your presidential ambition.
He is smart, dignified, intelligent and commands a lot of respect although he nearly squandered it all when he recently goofed with his remarks that suggested that Diploma-holding teachers who went to expensive basic education schools are underachievers.
Your decision to rather side with him than Ndaba was a wise move as the numbers he commands are by far superior. Yet, as I earlier intimated, I wish the likes of Ndaba, Mangole, Mmolotsi, Butale and others, were still a part of the People’s Project.
But then again, we can’t go on and on crying over spilt milk, can we? We have to focus on the present and the future. Which is where I want to air my discomfort, especially given the outcome of the Konyana ward meeting and the attendant social dialogue that to me suggests you could be compromised.
Please Comrade, I hear Kgosikgolo told the Showground gathering that he would rather Bangwato vote for you than cast their votes towards SisiBoy’s retention of the presidency.
Good for the UDC but Boy, I wish you tread with care. Forget the notion that in politics there are no permanent enemies – this notion I tell you does not apply with everyone.
There are just some enemies you can’t even think can any day become your friends unless they do so to use and dump you when you are no longer of any use to them.
Several times I have watched the Tom and Jerry tales. The only time Tom goes into a pact with Jerry is when they are temporarily plotting against a common enemy, but as soon as Tom has gotten what he wants, he quickly resorts to fighting to devour Jerry at all costs. The legendary feud resumes as soon as the common enemy is defeated.
So Comrade, if you are going to be tempted into this desperately conjured-up bromance, just ensure that you do not end up on the losing side.
Already I hear talk of someone borrowing your flying machines and I know the trick to use you has already begun in earnest. They say a leopard never changes its spots Comrade, and I dare add that I have never heard of a vulture trading its wings.
My darling MmaV ignored me when I warned her against allowing herself to be similarly used, believing that in The Big Chief she had everything under control. Owai, kae re ye teng?
As soon as it became clear that she was not going to deliver as was hoped, she was left in the lurch. So Comrade, please, if you are to take up this dangled carrot of a pact with Kgosikgolo, at least ensure you are the Tom, not the Jerry. Make sure you have calculated well enough to emerge on top. And I trust you to be capable of pulling that one off.
After all you have easily done so with the BMD. After they helped elevate you and the BNF to the summit of political utopia, you spat them out without flinching, and now I see you are about to bury the repulsive sputum with the sandy particles of that August court case that you believe will leave them licking the wounds from your calculated bite that also includes the patenting of the UDC symbol.
I know that even recently you also tried to rope in Ndaba and his crew for their numbers, although they proved to be too smart for your grand scheme of ballooning your numbers towards State Presidency. At least the lime ones bone are already in the bag after their futile resistance of 2014 – they will be aiding you to the Presidency this time; but now it is time to hit the royal masterstroke.
Be as cunning as any politician out there. Embrace Kgosikgolo’s foxy bromance proposal and beat him at his game. Just pretend you do not know that his is just a self-serving move, and while the iron is hot, strike Comrade. He surely has a large following of infatuated fanatics who will easily do as he says. Remember what a silver-tongued royal figure he is – always having them eat from the palm of his hand.
You can surely do with such heavenly sent fortune, Comrade. Don’t listen to these bitter guys tsa Madongwana who want to play the guilt-trip on you by accusing you of embracing the very man you despised and vilified with all your might while he was BDP President. Ignore them.
Take his money as well as the numbers he commands and add to those from the lime movement to ascend to being State President. Once you have got the crown, quickly dump him and move on as if nothing has happened.
In fact, after using his numbers, proceed to prosecute him as you have vehemently promised all these years. After all you would not be the first politician to trick and dump him. SisiBoy has the template. So has that Kgoboko guy wa Bobonong.
You will neither be the first politician to use someone and dump them when they are no longer of any use to you. Kgosikgolo himself has the blueprint on how to do that. It is called survival of the smartest, Comrade.
What I do not want to see is him using you and dumping you when you are no longer useful to him. He has mastered the art of doing that with others Comrade, and the reason I say I am not comfortable with you working with him, I fear he might do away with you before you blink.
More than anything else Comrade, it is his desperation to remove SisiBoy that does not sit well with me. So much that he can say anything. Imagine he was even telling Bangwato that you have all these years been his chief advisor when rona we know you have always been condemning everything that he is!
He even told the Showground gathering that you have always praised him as a great leader when we know you have always likened him to all the African dictators combined. See what desperation can do Comrade?
Imagine what he can say about you to the public should you go on and continue meeting him as I hear you secretly do sometimes. The next thing you are going to anger those who loved the UDC and looked up to you to make them forget the repressive tendencies of his party.
You will be seen as condoning his leadership style and this may confuse those who decamped from Domi to Moono purely because of him. You might lose them Comrade. So tread with care.
It’s a delicate thing I know, having to balance between amassing his thousands of fanatics and losing the thousands who have not wanted him all these years. Gape you should remember that he does not really care about the welfare of the nation as you claim to do – ene he only wants Masisi out.
That is his sole project, and he will ensure Masisi is vanquished at all costs; by hook or by crook, and I wonder what you aim to be – the crook or the hook? Whatever role you will play in his quest to vanquish SisiBoy, be careful not to be used Comrade. Don’t be that desperate for power.
Once SisiBoy is out, you and the UDC will no longer be of any use to Kgosikgolo, and he might turn on you the same way he is doing on SisiBoy after the state president refused to be his puppet and threatened to prosecute those linked to corruption. And remember – he has labelled you ‘useless and toothless’ before, and what will stop him from continuing that narrative in future, saying there was no way you could ascend to the state presidential throne without him? So be careful Comrade.
All I ever want is for you to have an untainted path to the State House – no strings attached. We want to see you walk there with your head held high – with the confidence of the peacock that you are.
Yes Comrade, you have several peacock tendencies – very assured, proud, showy, astute, colourful, handsome, extravagant, haughty and overly imposing. And that is the new leader we want for BW – a president with swag but with no link to corrupt and self-serving elements.
IN DEFENCE OF BOFEPUSU ON ENDORSEMENT
I wish to commend and defend BOFEPUSU for taking the bold step not to endorse any of our political parties going into this year’s elections.
In fact, I read a lot in the union’s new stance not to endorse any party for this year’s general election. Remember in 2014 this mother body of the workers’ unions was very clear about wanting their members to vote for the UDC. This is because at the time, the biggest enemy to the workers was one Ian Khama who had in 2011 vowed he would never increase civil servants’ salaries no matter how many times the workers would strike. And Khama kept his word.
He never improved the working conditions of the civil servants. He kept his distance from the needs of the workers until he stepped down from being President. Khama literally bullied the workers and treated them with utter disdain. Yet he never had a problem when salary increases wanted by MPs in parliament benefitted him. Yes in the past he called MPs vultures when he was still Vice President and wanted voters to like him. Khama is at it again making himself look like a Messiah.
Today he goes around claiming he and his BPF party have answers to the plight of the workers. He is the one who even decreased the student allowances and now goes around claiming he would increase them once his BPF party and the UDC are elected into power. All along as state president, he never listened even to his cabinet ministers when they advised him on matters of national interest. He refused to increase old pension stipends and refused to increase student allowances. Now all of a sudden he claims he will increase all these? Obviously those leaders at BOFEPUSU are not fools. They have not forgotten how Khama treated them.
They at least see that President Masisi’s approach is a bit accommodating and that he is trying something than to flatly refuse as did his predecessor. And the union leaders do not trust Masisi either. They feel he is not showing enough commitment to the workers’ plight despite his promises that things will improve. But then again, the same union leaders can no longer trust the UDC because of the party’s association with Khama. Union leaders are smart people. They can read the dynamics on the ground. With the UDC teaming up with Khama this time around, there is no way the union leaders are going to be comfortable with a man who made the workers’ lives a living hell while handing millions of pula to his associates such as the former DIS boss.
The man literally arm twisted his cabinet and MPs into amending retired presidential benefits to enrich himself. He literally created a good lifestyle for himself and never cared about the workers. And now the UDC President Duma Boko is on record saying Khama should be forgiven all his atrocities. How do we expect the union leaders to trust Boko after all these that Khama has done? What deal does Boko and Khama have? As I say, union leaders are smart individuals with independent minds and analytical skills. So Boko can’t fool them by saying it is not Khama the UDC was fighting but the BDP. That is taking the workers and Batswana for granted. If it was about BDP and not Khama, why then did Boko repeatedly call for Khama and Isaac Kgosi’s prosecution? Was Kgosi even BDP? The unions can’t easily fall for a situation where Khama is going to be brought back into our lives again.
Remember Boko initially denied vehemently, that the UDC was in cahoots with Khama, until the truth came out later. Can he and the UDC be trusted again like they were trusted in 2014? It is for this reason that we should understand why it is difficult for BOFEPUSU to endorse the UDC again. And it is understandable why they also do not want to endorse Masisi and the BDP because they equally do not have enough assurances to trust him. The best is for the union leadership to do what they did – to remain neutral and let every worker decide on their own. It is only fair. We cannot therefore be slamming BOFEPUSU for refusing to take a stand.
The political party leaders have not done anything to convince the unions that they deserve their endorsement. So let every man fend for himself independent of the union’s stance. Besides, the union members as individuals are already aligned to various parties of their choice. Some were still going to defy the union’s stance. But it would have been an atrocity for the union to openly endorse any party associating with Khama, a man who literally bullied civil servants as president. So well done to BOFEPUSU for refusing to endorse anyone. A go iperekelweng.
Perfect partners do not exist, you will stay single forever
While everybody else is settling, getting married and getting laid, a sizable number of our lady friends remain alone because they seem to have standards which our men are not meeting. These women remain lonely and promise to stay put until somebody worth their value comes along. The sad part is: he ain’t coming, not now and not in the future.
Mothers to these children who seem decent, well-raised and mature to settle and yet aren’t settling, are worried. They secretly consult fortune tellers and even prophets to find out why their children aren’t finding anyone to make a family with. A conversation with such people who seem to be victims of women/men’s low ranking qualities proves something else. For many years I have met and conversed with such ladies and their problem was so simple to solve that they laughed upon discovering the real problem.
When a girl isn’t getting married and yet is threatening to be forty years, you will often find she talks about the man she wants and that she hasn’t found such and won’t settle for less. She describes this man as having to possess gentleness, empathy, sensitivity, caring, sweetness, compassion, tolerance, nurturance, deference, aesthetic passion, and succorance. She needs a man who can chat a lot and ask her how her work has been and be as sensitive as a digital thermometer.
But such qualities are the qualities of a woman and not a man. In short, the high standards some women have in their search for men aren’t high standards, they are simply irrelevant standards: standards for women. And because it isn’t easy to find a man who behaves just like a woman, these women won’t be finding suitors for a long long time. They will wait and live on one night stands or celibacy for a long time. A good number of women don’t notice that men are different from women in a lot of ways. They think men are just a woman version that has beards and a hoarse voice.
I once listened to Beyonce’s song – If I was a boy – which talks about what she would do if she were a boy. Most of the things she talks about are so girly that it’s not hard to realize that even Beyonce, the iconic woman, has a problem understanding that no boy fits her imaginations.
John Gray in his book, ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ and Steve Harvey in his book, ‘Think like a man, act like a lady,’ did a great job showing women what men are like. I guess it’s always going to be better hearing men describe what a man is like. For a woman who confuses the two, let me help you to understand the difference between a man and a woman. Although that might sound too obvious if not silly, this is helpful in stopping you from the frustrating act of looking for women standards in men. While women obsess so much about appearance, men care less how they look and will do hairstyles that are as simple as shaving off hair. On the contrary, men care a lot about a woman’s looks and will keep a woman for her “hotness.” Women believe that cleaning dishes is a priority and a kitchen mess has to be cleaned by someone, but men place much importance on washing cars.
While a man pays attention to what someone says, a woman normally pays attention to the way a person speaks, particularly their attitude. Men laugh when they find something to be funny but a woman will only laugh if she thinks her environment allows it and its appropriate. Women have a larger hippocampus. This is where we store memories. This is why women can recall every single word of an argument from 5 years ago while men struggle to remember things that happened 5 days ago. “Women will tend to want to interact with colleagues after a stressful meeting or interact with family, friends, and relatives at the end of a busy day. These activities help women produce oxytocin, increase relaxation, and relieve stress, which in itself produces even more oxytocin, a critical stress-reducing hormone.” – Annis & Nesbitt.
“After a long stressful meeting or at the end of a busy day, men tend to want to shut down and drift off – close off the world for a little while. Men tend to retreat and seek solitude or engage in some low-involvement activity, such as watching the news or sports, or working on a small project. It’s a natural tendency in a man to “turn off” to replenish testosterone, and that releases his stress, relaxes, and re-energizes him.” – Annis & Nesbitt. Men and women are so different that those looking for a man with the qualities of woman won’t find such. There are men who won’t marry because the standards they have set of a woman they want are men’s standards.
They want someone who doesn’t worry a lot and is bold and brave and says less. Women have a larger anterior cortex, which means they spend more time ruminating, trying to process emotions and worrying. Women have higher rates of anxiety than men. Researchers think this might come down to the highly sensitized female anterior cortex. Naturally, it’s easy frightening a woman than a man. When my two kids arrive from school I usually hide in the house to frighten them and laugh at the whole panic thing – I am that immature sometimes. My daughter normally panics more than my son. It’s normal and I laugh a lot.
So I imagine a woman who won’t settle because she accuses guys of not being open, nurturing, sociable and hygienic. Since when have guys beaten women on issues of hygiene? Recently in South Africa, a young guy found himself confused after he fell in love with a girl because he felt the girl behaved like a guy and said that he has always wanted a girl who behaves like a guy. Women often behave like guys and that’s for about two minutes. So this guy fell in love with this girl and when the girl began to behave girly, the relationship broke apart and the guy confessed that he prefers dating boys. Boys will be boys and it’s unfair to expect boy standards from girls.
An online magazine known as Business Insider mentions that “Women’s expectations of the opposite sex are at least as unrealistic as men’s.” Now I don’t know about you but every time I ask women what they want from a man, I find they are talking about a woman. I ask a guy what he wants and he talks about sex all the time. A real woman is not going to have sex all the time or make it her first priority, so unaware, this guy is talking about another man.
Note that you’re having unrealistic standards if: You reject a decent person for no apparent reason, talking about ‘he is not my type.’
Talk about how there are no good women or men
A relationship with you needs serious qualifications
Most of the people you rate as good lovers are celebrities
You expect a guy or girl to love what you love
You fantasize about a perfect guy in a world of imperfect people
If you have the above tendencies, unless you stop, you will die alone or never get laid and enjoy sex & intimacy.
Kindly open your eyes to the fact that if you are not perfect, it is unreasonable to expect a perfect lover. When setting your standards, at least care enough to expect manly things from a man instead of expecting a man to behave like a woman.
You should find a man and let your lady friends do some of the things you were expecting from him especially in line with social interactivity.
Your prospects for getting love have been thrown under the bus if your fantasy guy has been in your head since your pre-teen pop-star crush days. “You’ve always loved building these bubbly fantasy lands in your head that you can run away too.
There is nothing wrong with that if you are grounded enough to realize that these are just fantasies, not reality. You will find a guy one day, but if you are banking on him being exactly like your trophy fantasy guy, then you’re making the already tough game of dating a lot harder for yourself. That’s because real humans have flaws, rough edges, and imperfections, but that’s what makes people so unique, special and fun to get to know. Since you are so focused on finding that guy who is different and special, then why not start by breaking outside the fantasy a little bit? Trust me, you will be surprised,” writes Michelle in 15 signs you’re too picky.
K.A. Bareki is the author of Sex & Intimacy 101 and can be contacted at email@example.com
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