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Stop abusing Kgosikgolo borra – e seng mo ngwaneng!

Joe Brown

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Dear Pastor Biggie

I hope this brief finds you in a relatively stable state of mind my dear pastor. Having been one of the few people in politics whom I have had the bravery to defend as a genuinely caring and honest man, I must admit that over the past few days you left me defendless and helpless as those who differed with me on you in the past, came raining down on me with a barrage of ‘we-told-you-so’ artillery.

You see, these are the people I have on many occasions told that along with Ndaba and Robert, you are one of the few politicians I could risk a vote of confidence for being honest and principled.

In a lot of my past letters to the likes of Dlodlo, Gladiator, SisiBoy and Kgosikgolo, I have parroted the notion that politicians are self-serving and dishonest people who just care about what matters to only themselves while cunningly perpetuating a picture of caring, loving and selfless Good Samaritans.

Yet I have included you in my four-man list of those I could cite as an exception. You see, I still remember how you stood a lone ranger in Parley going against Kgosikgolo’s sentiments and those of his erstwhile party when you fought for the monumental recognition of the late Motswaledi and others.

Whenever people labelled you ‘moruti-ka-lefitshwana’I was always the first to defend you – demanding proof that indeed you were as dishonest as they said you were. I never accepted anything that suggested that you were as cunning and self-serving as other politicians.

But these past eventful weeks you proved me wrong Moruti Butale. You left me cowing in shame and unable to face my friends about you. You proved to be a disgrace to anything you have always claimed to be. That Friday I listened to your vitriol and felt so ashamed to call you my pastor. Moruti, all you did in Masunga two weeks back was to expose yourself as just another self-serving political fraudster who even used God’s name to preach hatred, regionalism and tribalism.

You should be ashamed of yourself Pastor. Before your meeting, I had read somewhere in a newspaper that you were hellbent on saying and doing anything to ensure people get to hate SisiBoy at whatever cost. Ao rra? Kana I didn’t believe the contents of that article. I thought, Nnyaa ba akela moruti. No moruti reacts this way to anything.

And to even drag your dear wife into such witchery – making her defend you after preaching hatred to your followers! Come on Biggie. This time you stooped too low. At this very moment you should rather be on your knees, praying for a better and united Botswana, not out and about preaching hatred.

I understand you are frustrated that you lost in the primary elections of your party, but moruti, what has happened to Grace? Is it not you who has preached about being Graceful and Thankful to the Lord even in defeat? (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

Yes pastor, you taught us about handling defeat, advising that despite whatever else life dishes out on us, we should still thank God and allow Him to deploy us elsewhere.

Now look at you! I heard you moruti when you said SisiBoy is a criminal and a fraudster who has among other things robbed the Bank of Botswana and created a body-double of yourself to engage in some corrupt undertaking.

I have no facts to say for sure if you were telling the truth or just lying for political expediency – so I won’t go there. I am more concerned about the dishonesty you so blatantly displayed much to the disappointment of many of us who really wanted to clutch at anything to continue trusting your word and defending you as a principled man.

An honest man as I have thought of you should have been able to say these things about SisiBoy and his BDP when those things were happening. Or are you going to say they held a gun to your throat threatening the life out of you if you spoke of their corruption?

The honest and principled man that you are, why have you been quiet about such thievery all this time? Where were you when the likes of Moswaane and Polson told it like it is to the faces of both SisiBoy and Kgosikgolo? Those are the men we could perhaps give an ear if they spoke like you today. They have never hidden their feelings about the things done by the leadership. They never waited until they lost elections to start making their feelings known.

Wena I am worried we were never going to hear all these things from you had you won ka Bulela Ditswe. From the day you lost, you have been all over telling all sorts of stories relating to threats on your life, obviously to plant seeds of doubt on the character of the man you so openly hate today, Rre Masisi. All that talk of cows being pushed onto the road by police officers and the stories of six tyre bursts, you only reminded me of the trobled life the late Motswaledi lived. At the time, people said your idol Kgosikgolo was behind the mishaps, including the eventual demise of poor Sir-Gee. Now you are copying from that script and now claiming it is SisiBoy who is behind the tyre bursts? It is almost like someone is sending you to say out those things – someone haunted by some form of guilty conscience. It has become very difficult to trust anything you say Moruti. Imagine you even asked your gathering of constituents to help you decide if you should pull-out from politics and return to boruti. Who in their right mind will still find any inspiration in your teachings after you rallied the nation to hate its leader?

Kana by asking your followers to hate their leader you were almost asking your flock to hate God and follow Satan. No wonder a lot of people who reacted to your meeting called you Devil Incarnate.

You disappointed a lot of them moruti. They never expected such vile and lie from you. Most were angered and disappointed, including the opposition fanatics you were definitely trying to impress. They called you moruti-ka-lefitshwana and labelled you a diabolic makgorwane.

I tell you, not even Ndaba or Boko felt any feather of flatter at your mention that they are better leaders than SisiBoy. They simply saw you for who you are – an angry and bitter man who after being rejected by his own people suddenly opens up about the age-old corruption and evil he has been embracing, praising and defending while it served his interests.

The two gentlemen still have memories of how you used to say the UDC and other opposition leaders can’t take this country anywhere. Now that you are grieving over your numbered days mo letlepung, suddenly the opposition and its leaders are better than the BDP and SisiBoy whom in several expressions you labelled an undemocratic crook and a liar.

And yet wena in Masunga – through your MC – you made it clear you were not going to entertain any comment from the floor that attacks you. You call that ‘democratic’ pastor?

And here is the classic part – you asked for direction from your people, imploring them to decide if you should quit politics and return full time to boruti; or to join AP; or to join UDC; or to join – in your own words – a party formed by Khama.

A number of your people suggested you join AP like Peter Ngoma, giving reasons why it would not help the constituency and yourself if you went with Khama’s party. Ao moruti? Why were you taking your people through such a tedious exercise when you already knew you had registered, joined and written the constitution of the new Khama party?

Who can ever trust such deception – from a moruti for that matter? Kana the next day ke fa Khama a go tlontlolla jaanong when he informed people gore a few days earlier you and Guma had already indicated to him that you will be standing for elections under the new party which he, characteristically, also tried to give the impression he knew nothing about.

He would later sell himself away too, when he revealed the colours of the party by pointing to the jacket he was wearing. See the kind of leadership you want your people to follow moruti? A leadership that asks for Tsholofelo Hall and tell the Town Clerk that it is for a family gathering when you know it is for a political activity? Why lie? What is there to hide if indeed you are a body of honest people?

And you see now why I say you left me with little to defend you? The lies. Because even a few hours after your Masunga meeting, you were in Serowe telling people that you have registered a new party whose constitution you are still finalising. Overnight Moruti?

But then again, what should we have expected? Akere even your idol did just that – asking people to give him direction when he already knew what was cooking. Banna tlhe le fitlhetse Batswana! And how they can’t see through your ilk puzzles me.

Right now I am tempted to agree with those who say a new party would never have been formed had that Isaac Kgosi guy not been fired from DIS by SisiBoy and had SisiBoy made a Khama sibling Vice President.

Le wena I say we would not be seeing this melodrama from you had you won Bulela Ditswe. You see, I have no qualms with reasons given for your institutionalised hatred for SisiBoy – I just don’t trust the word of a man who speaks ill of his ex-girlfriend only because she dumped him; and when he never even uttered a bad thing while he was still joyfully sleeping with her. And this from a Pastor?

What desperation is this Moruti? Gore o bo o khubame le ka mangole tota? I think your excitement about rubbing shoulders with Kgosikgolo should be guarded with caution. I mean, everybody be talking Kgama Magic.

Naare magic wa teng oa hemisa? I mean, I saw some people who hail from Tlokweng, Lobatse, Jwaneng and even Gantsi saying Khama ke Kgosikgolo ya bone. Like really? And even more disturbing, everyone in Serowe, including my favourite Rosebae, kept saying where and when Khama dies, they will die with him. It got me thinking: what if Khama indeed dies tomorrow? God forbid! What will become of this new party?

Kana he is the soul and sole provider and his death will surely signal the sudden death of the political aspirations of all those reneging from common sense in his name – because you guys are just following him; not any political ideology. You and him only formed your movement for the sole purpose of removing SisiBoy from power – the new party is not even interested in taking over power or doing anything for Batswana. Top of its mandate is to see SisiBoy out of power. It would be interesting to see what you guys will do should SisiBoy stand up tomorrow to say he is stepping down from the presidency of the ruling party. Kana you will be left with no sense of purpose.

And you guys must please stop misleading Kgosikgolo by giving him the impression that he is doing what is right for this country – just because you have hope for a quick dash and return to Parley.

Many say he is using you guys to serve his bruised ego and to spite SisiBoy, but I also think you are all abusing him and using his lack of foresight for your political survival. You are all after his money and popularity. That’s why you have no shame telling people gore kana he is the most popular politician in the country. Try unpopular Moruti. And perhaps even confused. I mean, what is he saying? He will support UDC, launch you and Guma as BPF candidates and support some good BDP MPs? Banna tlhe le a re confusa. Imagine the poor old men and women you are continuing to tricking with lies and deceit – Modimo o tlaa le bona tlhe borra. Modimo ga se moshianyana. Stop misleading our old folk with your distorted facts borra. It is evil. I don’t care about the more intelligent ones who follow you – kana bone even as they see that yours is movement of the bitter, they have only found an easier platform to get back at their opponents within Domi, and they are only looking to benefit from the financial resources said to be falling from some western and South African merchants interested in the mineral and tourism resources of our country. And that Moruti, is wicked. We need peace in this country moruti, and these shenanigans you so strangely embrace and support are a recipe for civil strife. Lesang go dirisa mogolo botlhaswa banna! I hear he never listens but come on Moruti, the man needs your advice. Honest advice. Stop using and abusing him. E seng mo ngwaneng wa ga Ruta borra. E seng mo go Kgosikgolo.

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IN DEFENCE OF BOFEPUSU ON ENDORSEMENT

acuadmin

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I wish to commend and defend BOFEPUSU for taking the bold step not to endorse any of our political parties going into this year’s elections.

In fact, I read a lot in the union’s new stance not to endorse any party for this year’s general election.  Remember in 2014 this mother body of the workers’ unions was very clear about wanting their members to vote for the UDC. This is because at the time, the biggest enemy to the workers was one Ian Khama who had in 2011 vowed he would never increase civil servants’ salaries no matter how many times the workers would strike. And Khama kept his word.

He never improved the working conditions of the civil servants. He kept his distance from the needs of the workers until he stepped down from being President. Khama literally bullied the workers and treated them with utter disdain. Yet he never had a problem when salary increases wanted by MPs in parliament benefitted him. Yes in the past he called MPs vultures when he was still Vice President and wanted voters to like him. Khama is at it again making himself look like a Messiah.

Today he goes around claiming he and his BPF party have answers to the plight of the workers. He is the one who even decreased the student allowances and now goes around claiming he would increase them once his BPF party and the UDC are elected into power. All along as state president, he never listened even to his cabinet ministers when they advised him on matters of national interest. He refused to increase old pension stipends and refused to increase student allowances. Now all of a sudden he claims he will increase all these? Obviously those leaders at BOFEPUSU are not fools. They have not forgotten how Khama treated them.

They at least see that President Masisi’s approach is a bit accommodating and that he is trying something than to flatly refuse as did his predecessor. And the union leaders do not trust Masisi either. They feel he is not showing enough commitment to the workers’ plight despite his promises that things will improve. But then again, the same union leaders can no longer trust the UDC because of the party’s association with Khama. Union leaders are smart people. They can read the dynamics on the ground. With the UDC teaming up with Khama this time around, there is no way the union leaders are going to be comfortable with a man who made the workers’ lives a living hell while handing millions of pula to his associates such as the former DIS boss.

The man literally arm twisted his cabinet and MPs into amending retired presidential benefits to enrich himself. He literally created a good lifestyle for himself and never cared about the workers. And now the UDC President Duma Boko is on record saying Khama should be forgiven all his atrocities. How do we expect the union leaders to trust Boko after all these that Khama has done? What deal does Boko and Khama have? As I say, union leaders are smart individuals with independent minds and analytical skills. So Boko can’t fool them by saying it is not Khama the UDC was fighting but the BDP. That is taking the workers and Batswana for granted. If it was about BDP and not Khama, why then did Boko repeatedly call for Khama and Isaac Kgosi’s prosecution? Was Kgosi even BDP? The unions can’t easily fall for a situation where Khama is going to be brought back into our lives again.

Remember Boko initially denied vehemently, that the UDC was in cahoots with Khama, until the truth came out later. Can he and the UDC be trusted again like they were trusted in 2014? It is for this reason that we should understand why it is difficult for BOFEPUSU to endorse the UDC again. And it is understandable why they also do not want to endorse Masisi and the BDP because they equally do not have enough assurances to trust him. The best is for the union leadership to do what they did – to remain neutral and let every worker decide on their own. It is only fair. We cannot therefore be slamming BOFEPUSU for refusing to take a stand.

The political party leaders have not done anything to convince the unions that they deserve their endorsement. So let every man fend for himself independent of the union’s stance. Besides, the union members as individuals are already aligned to various parties of their choice. Some were still going to defy the union’s stance. But it would have been an atrocity for the union to openly endorse any party associating with Khama, a man who literally bullied civil servants as president. So well done to BOFEPUSU for refusing to endorse anyone. A go iperekelweng.

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Perfect partners do not exist, you will stay single forever

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While everybody else is settling, getting married and getting laid, a sizable number of our lady friends remain alone because they seem to have standards which our men are not meeting. These women remain lonely and promise to stay put until somebody worth their value comes along. The sad part is: he ain’t coming, not now and not in the future.

Mothers to these children who seem decent, well-raised and mature to settle and yet aren’t settling, are worried. They secretly consult fortune tellers and even prophets to find out why their children aren’t finding anyone to make a family with. A conversation with such people who seem to be victims of women/men’s low ranking qualities proves something else. For many years I have met and conversed with such ladies and their problem was so simple to solve that they laughed upon discovering the real problem.

When a girl isn’t getting married and yet is threatening to be forty years, you will often find she talks about the man she wants and that she hasn’t found such and won’t settle for less. She describes this man as having to possess gentleness, empathy, sensitivity, caring, sweetness, compassion, tolerance, nurturance, deference, aesthetic passion, and succorance. She needs a man who can chat a lot and ask her how her work has been and be as sensitive as a digital thermometer.

But such qualities are the qualities of a woman and not a man. In short, the high standards some women have in their search for men aren’t high standards, they are simply irrelevant standards: standards for women. And because it isn’t easy to find a man who behaves just like a woman, these women won’t be finding suitors for a long long time. They will wait and live on one night stands or celibacy for a long time. A good number of women don’t notice that men are different from women in a lot of ways. They think men are just a woman version that has beards and a hoarse voice.
I once listened to Beyonce’s song – If I was a boy – which talks about what she would do if she were a boy. Most of the things she talks about are so girly that it’s not hard to realize that even Beyonce, the iconic woman, has a problem understanding that no boy fits her imaginations.

John Gray in his book, ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ and Steve Harvey in his book, ‘Think like a man, act like a lady,’ did a great job showing women what men are like. I guess it’s always going to be better hearing men describe what a man is like. For a woman who confuses the two, let me help you to understand the difference between a man and a woman. Although that might sound too obvious if not silly, this is helpful in stopping you from the frustrating act of looking for women standards in men. While women obsess so much about appearance, men care less how they look and will do hairstyles that are as simple as shaving off hair. On the contrary, men care a lot about a woman’s looks and will keep a woman for her “hotness.” Women believe that cleaning dishes is a priority and a kitchen mess has to be cleaned by someone, but men place much importance on washing cars.

While a man pays attention to what someone says, a woman normally pays attention to the way a person speaks, particularly their attitude. Men laugh when they find something to be funny but a woman will only laugh if she thinks her environment allows it and its appropriate. Women have a larger hippocampus. This is where we store memories. This is why women can recall every single word of an argument from 5 years ago while men struggle to remember things that happened 5 days ago. “Women will tend to want to interact with colleagues after a stressful meeting or interact with family, friends, and relatives at the end of a busy day. These activities help women produce oxytocin, increase relaxation, and relieve stress, which in itself produces even more oxytocin, a critical stress-reducing hormone.” – Annis & Nesbitt.

“After a long stressful meeting or at the end of a busy day, men tend to want to shut down and drift off – close off the world for a little while. Men tend to retreat and seek solitude or engage in some low-involvement activity, such as watching the news or sports, or working on a small project. It’s a natural tendency in a man to “turn off” to replenish testosterone, and that releases his stress, relaxes, and re-energizes him.” – Annis & Nesbitt. Men and women are so different that those looking for a man with the qualities of woman won’t find such. There are men who won’t marry because the standards they have set of a woman they want are men’s standards.

They want someone who doesn’t worry a lot and is bold and brave and says less. Women have a larger anterior cortex, which means they spend more time ruminating, trying to process emotions and worrying. Women have higher rates of anxiety than men. Researchers think this might come down to the highly sensitized female anterior cortex. Naturally, it’s easy frightening a woman than a man. When my two kids arrive from school I usually hide in the house to frighten them and laugh at the whole panic thing – I am that immature sometimes. My daughter normally panics more than my son. It’s normal and I laugh a lot.

So I imagine a woman who won’t settle because she accuses guys of not being open, nurturing, sociable and hygienic. Since when have guys beaten women on issues of hygiene? Recently in South Africa, a young guy found himself confused after he fell in love with a girl because he felt the girl behaved like a guy and said that he has always wanted a girl who behaves like a guy. Women often behave like guys and that’s for about two minutes. So this guy fell in love with this girl and when the girl began to behave girly, the relationship broke apart and the guy confessed that he prefers dating boys. Boys will be boys and it’s unfair to expect boy standards from girls.

An online magazine known as Business Insider mentions that “Women’s expectations of the opposite sex are at least as unrealistic as men’s.” Now I don’t know about you but every time I ask women what they want from a man, I find they are talking about a woman. I ask a guy what he wants and he talks about sex all the time. A real woman is not going to have sex all the time or make it her first priority, so unaware, this guy is talking about another man.

Note that you’re having unrealistic standards if: You reject a decent person for no apparent reason, talking about ‘he is not my type.’
Talk about how there are no good women or men
A relationship with you needs serious qualifications
Most of the people you rate as good lovers are celebrities
You expect a guy or girl to love what you love
You fantasize about a perfect guy in a world of imperfect people

If you have the above tendencies, unless you stop, you will die alone or never get laid and enjoy sex & intimacy.
Kindly open your eyes to the fact that if you are not perfect, it is unreasonable to expect a perfect lover. When setting your standards, at least care enough to expect manly things from a man instead of expecting a man to behave like a woman.

You should find a man and let your lady friends do some of the things you were expecting from him especially in line with social interactivity.
Your prospects for getting love have been thrown under the bus if your fantasy guy has been in your head since your pre-teen pop-star crush days. “You’ve always loved building these bubbly fantasy lands in your head that you can run away too.

There is nothing wrong with that if you are grounded enough to realize that these are just fantasies, not reality.  You will find a guy one day, but if you are banking on him being exactly like your trophy fantasy guy, then you’re making the already tough game of dating a lot harder for yourself.  That’s because real humans have flaws, rough edges, and imperfections, but that’s what makes people so unique, special and fun to get to know.  Since you are so focused on finding that guy who is different and special, then why not start by breaking outside the fantasy a little bit? Trust me, you will be surprised,” writes Michelle in 15 signs you’re too picky.

K.A. Bareki is the author of Sex & Intimacy 101 and can be contacted at ansonpub@gmail.com

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