The Midweek Sun


Coping with a contentious wife

Losing respect for her will have negative consequences The Bible says that a contentious wife is hard to live with. Solomon in his great wisdom said it is better to live on the rooftop than to be in the same house with a contentious woman. He went on to say it is better to go to a funeral than to live with a nagging woman; he also said a nagging woman is like a dripping tap. There are reasons why women turn out to be contentious. Their upbringing plays a big role in defining their perception of what their role is in the home. Do you have a contentious wife who is always bickering with you, picking a fight at every given opportunity? How do you deal with that situation in a home? You can either deal with it violently and beat her into submission, or resort to quiet withdrawal and allow yourself to be bullied by her, or you can go off into an extra-marital affair to seek consolation or you can live with the problem and pretend it doesn’t exist. None of the foregoing “solutions” are tangibly effective methods of dealing with a nagging wife. Allow me to put forward some solutions. Acknowledge that you have a nagging wife. An interesting truth to know about women is that generally women speak twenty to thirty thousand words a day whereas men only speak about ten to fifteen thousand words per day. That difference alone makes life challenging for men. You often hear men say, “Ah, women talk too much!” Well, while women have a lot to say, it becomes “too much” for a man whose quota has just finished and he wonders why she is still carrying on. It also becomes “too much” for a man who sees no real sense in what she is carrying on about. But when women talk a lot, that can only be part of the bigger problem. A nagging woman nags deliberately to irritate her husband and doesn’t care about the consequences of her actions. When trying to cope with a nagging wife, treat her with the utmost respect. Yes, she nags you, but don’t lose your respect for her. Losing your respect for her is a deliberate act that will have negative consequences. Watch for and listen to her many words and don’t let her get to you or else in your human nature you will react instead of responding appropriately. Know that a nagging woman usually wants things her way. If you retaliate in any way, you are fighting fire with fuel. Rather withdraw for a time and resume conversation when the environment has an air of happiness to it. Only God can change a nagging woman, as she submits herself to His guidance and leadership. A nagging woman is normally bossy and so the best way to relate to her is with soft answers and a patient spirit. Exercise self-control and restrain yourself. It is worth being patient. This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.